Monkey Poundcake

Today, the gals at work threw me a bridal shower. And I have to say it's nice......... to not have to worry about sexual side effects. Okay, that was from some antidepressent commercial, sorry. It just sticks in my head the way the chick pauses and waits and pauses and waits to finish the sentence. Okay, back to me. The shower was great and fun. We had creative games, and cake and berries, and punch, and presents. When you work with people who conduct events all the time, you can be sure of a good party with a good flow and a variety of activities! AND, you don't even have to fill out an evaluation form at the end like the regular events. Plus, they helped get me ready for all-eyes-on-me, which usually freaks me out. I used to do theatre and that was fine, but probably because I already knew what to say and do 'cause someone had beaten it into me. The gifts are really nice, too. People seem to have a sense of who I am and got things for me that reflect that. Wow, people do listen. :)

Thanks ma gallies!

Man returns to bar where two friends are waiting.
Man - "You are not going to believe what I just heard."
Friends - "What? Are you okay?"
Man - "This is really bad. You are not going to believe."
Friends - very concerned
Man - "Colgate, Crest, Aquafresh... ALL give you cancer."
Friends - shocked and concerned.
Man - "Yeah, can you believe it?'

I, for one, cannot.

That's the beet salad, right in the middle! Don't be jealous of my beautiful table! It's a gift AND a curse!

Well, I don't have it written down anymore, but here's what I do:

Get a couple bunches of smallish beets. You can always get red at the grocery store, if you want fancy colors, the farmers' market's your place. Cut the stems off close to the beet. Scrub beets well. Place damp beets in a baking dish, cover dish tightly with foil. The moisture from washing the beets is enough to steam them a bit. Roast in 400 degree oven for about an hour. An inserted knife should easily pierce through to the center. Roasting brings out the best, sweetest, roastery flavor. I find it's easiest to peel the beets once they've cooled. The skins pretty well slip off. When cool and peeled, slice the beets and arrange on platter. The dressing is made from vegetable oil (something light in flavor), rice wine vinegar, sugar, minced shallots, and chopped mint. Also salt and pepper to taste. I kind of eyeball quantities. Like I eyeball the kids in their tight black pants and Ramones tshirts at the mall. Damn kids, what do they know about Johnny, Joey, Tommy, and DeeDee???
Okay, so, once that's well mixed, crumble goat cheese over the beets. A fork works very well for this. Drizzle the dressing over the beets and goat, and garnish with fresh chives for prettiness.

It is true that I have neglected you, my loyal readers. And for this I apologize. In essence, I am a lazy person.

A few weeks ago, the puppy had to go back on his meds. He has the allergies. They cause him to sneeze and scratch and fling hair places you didn't think it could get. We're taught that the heart is the strongest muscle in the body. I believe that reference was to the human body, because it is quite clear that, in a dog, it is the tongue. This super-canine strength is activated when trying to dope the dog orally. Of course, we attempt to trick him with a spoonful of peanut butter with the pill embedded within. This usually works, but if he does sense the emerald green nugget, the powers of tongue activate! The peanut butter is enjoyed, the job appears to be done, but here comes the "ptink" of the pill hitting the linoleum. Then the stab at forcing the pill down the throat, akin to wrestling with Job over at the truck stop, fresh from a run. Ya ain't gonna win and you're going to get someone else's spit all over ya.

Your Seduction Style: Siren / Rake

You possess an unbridled sensuality that appeals to many. The minute you meet anyone, you can make the crave you almost immediately. You give others the chance to lose control with you... spiraling into carnal bliss. A dangerous lover, you both fascinate and scare those you attract.

Your Boobies' Names Are: Elvis

You Are 60% Normal (Really Normal)

Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal You're like most people most of the time But you've got those quirks that make you endearing You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!

Cause I'm lazy like that. Truly, I have some hi-larious stories from last weekend's bachelerotte weekend in San Diego. Just need time to type them up - before I forget them. It was for a friend and I almost got beat up. Fill-in soon.

You Are 28 Years Old

28 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Part of my job is registering people for workshops. They send me registration forms - preferably completed, but we're dealing with professionals here, I enter their info, send them a confirmation, and they show up to get learned. Yesterday, I received four calls from a Linda, according to caller ID. Each of these was a fax machine. Each was at least 30 minutes apart. Following these ear-piercing events, I got two more from Stephen's fax. When I came in this morning, magic had happened and Stephen had actually sent the fax to the FAX NUMBER. Weird. I noticed the fax was for Linda. So, she couldn't get her fax to send it to my telephone and had Stephen try. Finally, someone must have noticed that the numbers are different and the one that says, "Fax to" was not what they were dialing. I imagine that until that point, they were alternately cursing my fax machine and me. Fools. So, I was entering Linda's info into our database when I got to her title and organization, yes, as you may have assumed, she is the DIRECTOR of a center for GIFTED people. After I showed that one around, reminiscing about the Farside comic featuring the child pushing with all his might on the front door of the school for the gifted - you know, the door that says, "PULL," I noticed Linda had made up her own payment schedule, overcharging herself and adding in something which is clearly marked should be paid at the door. Man, I think she also left out two important letters of the name of her group - UN.

And so there has been beeping at work for two days. Oh the beeping that won't stop. And it comes from opposite ends of the hallway, so there's no escaping. I imagine the two beeps are converging just outside my door, and they are gleeful in their convergence.