Tuesday, September 20, 2005
So this one time, I moved to the South
And now I can pick my state out on a map.
And also, I can tell you stories like this:
I drove two hours away on Sunday to find a populated town with malls. At the first mall, all I bought was a Starbucks' latte. I am not in love with Starbucks, but since this was the first one I've seen in this state, I had no qualms about spending over $3 for a danged coffee. Especially since I had just driven two danged hours and was feeling kinda car-butt, kinda groggy.
At the second mall I was excited to roam around Cost Plus. My husband and I enjoy a debate on the name of this store. He calls it World Market. I think we all know that "World Market" is just a tagline to appease the masses. Anyhoo, I wandered and, as usual, bought almost nothing. The allure is so much greater than the actuality. Next, I went to Williams-Sonoma. I had a gift card we'd received as a wedding gift plus a coupon for 10% off stuff from the registry. I was very pleased with myself for making a purchase totaling $52 minus $50 gift card equaling $2 out of pocket. Thrill of the hunt!
That was not my point. My point was, as I approached the store, I noticed a clump of people just inside the store. I felt tense because I prefer to avoid people and interactions with people and, well, if I wanted in, I was gonna have to move through the clump. Well, I was lucky, I went in and they were too caught up in their conversation to notice me. But this is what I heard. "Blessing!" It was just one woman of the clump. She said, "It was such a blessing to see you!" to another, "Oh, what a blessed day!" "Blessing," "Blessed be." All the one woman to another. The first time I visited the South, I was told it was a blessing for me to have come. I was touched, wow, who says that? I must be special. Well, I figured out quickly enough that no matter how heartfelt, it's not a special word and it gets thrown about freely in the South. The first time, I was here for a wedding and this time, it was a Sunday, I wonder if those occasions increase the frequency of use.
And also, I can tell you stories like this:
I drove two hours away on Sunday to find a populated town with malls. At the first mall, all I bought was a Starbucks' latte. I am not in love with Starbucks, but since this was the first one I've seen in this state, I had no qualms about spending over $3 for a danged coffee. Especially since I had just driven two danged hours and was feeling kinda car-butt, kinda groggy.
At the second mall I was excited to roam around Cost Plus. My husband and I enjoy a debate on the name of this store. He calls it World Market. I think we all know that "World Market" is just a tagline to appease the masses. Anyhoo, I wandered and, as usual, bought almost nothing. The allure is so much greater than the actuality. Next, I went to Williams-Sonoma. I had a gift card we'd received as a wedding gift plus a coupon for 10% off stuff from the registry. I was very pleased with myself for making a purchase totaling $52 minus $50 gift card equaling $2 out of pocket. Thrill of the hunt!
That was not my point. My point was, as I approached the store, I noticed a clump of people just inside the store. I felt tense because I prefer to avoid people and interactions with people and, well, if I wanted in, I was gonna have to move through the clump. Well, I was lucky, I went in and they were too caught up in their conversation to notice me. But this is what I heard. "Blessing!" It was just one woman of the clump. She said, "It was such a blessing to see you!" to another, "Oh, what a blessed day!" "Blessing," "Blessed be." All the one woman to another. The first time I visited the South, I was told it was a blessing for me to have come. I was touched, wow, who says that? I must be special. Well, I figured out quickly enough that no matter how heartfelt, it's not a special word and it gets thrown about freely in the South. The first time, I was here for a wedding and this time, it was a Sunday, I wonder if those occasions increase the frequency of use.
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Caroline Rhea says that southerners carry their "evil" on the inside, as opposed to new yorkers, who carry it on the outside.
Thus, southerners say "Bless your little heart" when they mean "you're outta your freakin' mind."
Thus, southerners say "Bless your little heart" when they mean "you're outta your freakin' mind."
Yep, I heard you can say whatever mean thing you want about someone, and as long as you follow it with "bless her heart," you're golden. Perhaps I can now talk trash the way I was born to.
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